002: the duality of love songs

what type of lover are you?

Jul 26, 2020

I’m a sucker for a good one-liner aka a literary gut punch. Back in my days as a poet, my team and I were notorious for them. One line from one of my favorite movies, Stuck In Love, always stuck with me. No pun intended.

“There are two kinds of people in this world— hopeless romantics and realists.

A realist just sees that face and packs it in with every other pretty girl they've ever seen before. The hopeless romantic becomes convinced that God put them on Earth to be with that one person. But there is no God and life is only as meaningful as you fool yourself into thinking it is. Guys who get laid a lot are realists. You should be listening. Just avoid love at all costs. That’s my motto.

‘You ever been in love?’

If love is setting a place at the table for someone who is never coming home, I think I'll pass.”

This scene always reminded me of the duality of love songs and a duo who embodied that effortlessly is TWENTY88. I, like most people, thought it was a cruel April Fool’s tease when Jhené Aiko and Big Sean announced their group & released their eponymous EP, back in 2016. Thank God it wasn’t a hoax at all. The enthralling 8-song project was full of love, lust, headache, and heartache. It’s literally perfection and honestly, debate yourself, if you disagree. It’s also the perfect example of contrasting POVs on a love song. For reference purposes, listen to “Talk Show” and watch the entire visual below.

Many R&B/Hip-Hop duets share this foundation. Another great example is Aaliyah & DMX’s “Come Back In One Piece.”

This year marks the 20th anniversary of this timeless hit and one of my personal favorite songs ever. If you know me, you know I’m a territorial and protective lover. I’m gonna let my man do what he wants, but all I ask is that “you make it back in one piece.” Dating a Black man in America, I get incredibly worried if I don’t hear from him especially if we have a routine. As a girl from Queens, we like a certain type of guy. 😏 IYKYK. So, this song became an anthem for my dude. Let’s also take a moment for Aaliyah. Her look in this video is one of my favorites and another amazing example of duality: sexy yet masculine. That’s my steelo.

SHINE A LIGHT ON ‘EM ✨

Someone I adore who is amazing at balancing contrasting energies is Eryn Amel. She is a mom, a lover, an author, an entrepreneur, and just had that umph! She has such a sweet presence, but she also can be assertive and commanding. One quick scroll on her IG or Tumblr will tell you that. If you need your chakras aligned or want a good word on how to just navigate any of life’s qualms, follow her.

One of my favorite Black-owned brands whose entire mantra is duality is Bad Girl, Good Human. The brand is full of cozy basics and occasionally, they have a surprise sexy drop. Items are never up for long, so snag yours now.